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Interview with Suzi Uzi of Black Road!

Recently, I got the chance to catch up with Suzi Uzi of Black Road.  I did this interview for Rock in Chicago, you can read it in English here.

And for the Polish stoners, here is the article in Polish!

Black Road opisuje siebie jako w pełni wykorzystujących możliwości łączenia gatunków w celu stworzenia ich unikalnego brzmienia rocka: „Zainspirowaliśmy się wszystkimi wielkimi twórcami, którzy pojawili się wcześniej… po prostu urodziliśmy się za późno”.

Wielkie dzięki dla Doc Metal za te Q&A z Suzi Uzi, główną wokalistką Black Road, która pozwoliła nam dowiedzieć się, czym zajmował się zespół podczas pandemii.  Suzi jest także współtwórczynią playlisty Stoner Doom Volume 2.

Jak się miewa Black Road?

Black Road świetnie się bawiło, pracując cicho za kulisami, przygotowując naszych najnowszych członków Trey i Danny do tempa ze wszystkimi piosenkami na basie i perkusji.  Obaj wykonali niesamowitą pracę.

Piszesz nowy materiał?

Pracujemy nad przygotowaniem wszystkich naszych piosenek, a potem zaczniemy pracować nad całym nowszym materiałem, który rozpoczęliśmy.

Jak było z zespołem i Tobą podczas pandemii?

Podczas tej pandemii zespół przeszedł więcej zmian niż kiedykolwiek, odkąd zaczęliśmy jako grupa.  To była dziwna jazda, ale się nie zatrzymujemy.  Osobiście zacząłem nową pracę na pełny etat i musiałem całkowicie zmienić styl życia i codzienne czynności.  Oznacza to o wiele mniej czasu na muzykę, ale staram się znaleźć równowagę.  Po prostu nie korzystam już z Internetu, haha!

Jak wszystko idzie z Tobą i Metal Monkey Brewing?

Uwielbiam tych kolesi i naprawdę tęsknię za tym miejscem.  Metal Monkey jest najwspanialszy, podobnie jak właściciele i pracownicy.  Naprawdę tęsknię za pracą tam, przesiadywaniem tam i robieniem piwnych festynów.  Mam nadzieję, że wrócą w tym roku, jeśli będzie to wystarczająco bezpieczne.  W międzyczasie nadal regularnie ze wszystkimi rozmawiamy i nie możemy się doczekać, kiedy wrócimy i napijemy się piwa z załogą!

Czy zastanawiałaś się nad zorganizowaniem jakiejś transmisji na żywo?

Otrzymaliśmy kilka ofert transmisji na żywo, ale musimy je odrzucać z powodu zmian w składzie.  Chcemy być tak gotowi, jak to tylko możliwe, kiedy następnym razem wyjdziemy na scenę i mamy nadzieję, że z naszymi nowymi członkami damy wszystkim wspaniałe show!

Czy na horyzoncie są jakieś plany dotyczące nowych gadżetów?

Mamy plan, aby ewentualnie przywrócić stary i popularny projekt koszulek, o który ludzie wciąż proszą, ale w tej chwili nie mamy bezpośrednich planów dotyczących nowego towaru.

Pamiętam niektóre z twoich postów na Facebooku o ludziach, którzy spanikowali, ponieważ poczta zbyt wolno dostarczała im wasze produkty.  Czy chciałbyś porozmawiać o którejkolwiek z sytuacji, które z tego wynikły?

Miałem ludzi, którzy wysłali mi e-maile i mówili, że chcą zwrotu pieniędzy za produkty, które technicznie nadal miały zostać dostarczone i pokazywali to w swoich informacjach o śledzeniu przesyłki.  Trochę mam urwanie głowy, z tym że ​​muszę osobiście wysyłać wiadomości, ale jest to lepsze niż wydawanie kilku zwrotów pieniędzy tylko po to, by dowiedzieć się, że towar i tak dotarł.  Potrzebowaliśmy tylko trochę cierpliwości do ich dostarczenia.  Skończyło się na tym, że nie było osoby, której towar zaginął lub został niedostarczony, więc to ogromny plus.

Czego w tej chwili słuchasz?

W tej chwili znajdowałam pocieszenie we wszystkich starych piosenkach, które już kocham.  Kiedy wiele rzeczy się zmienia i są poza moją kontrolą, stwierdzam, że wracam do mojej strefy komfortu.  Mając to na uwadze, ostatnio dużo grało Pink Floyd!

Czy macie jakieś ulubione wydawnictwa z 2020 i 2021 roku?

Wciąż słucham tego Slabdraggera, którego mi przedstawiłeś, kiedy byłeś w moim programie.  Zajebiste!

Jeśli chodzi o nowe wydawnictwa, nie przychodzi mi do głowy nic nowego poza nowym singlem Monolord i nowymi utworami Dopelorda, które wyszły.  Te są doskonałe.

Czy możesz mi opowiedzieć o czymś jeszcze, co działo się z Tobą i Twoim zespołem, coś fajnego, na przykład ten cały strzał w głowę z karty kolekcjonerskiej?

Shadebeast stworzył grudniową naklejkę z moim zdjęciem, a następnie stworzył kartę kolekcjonerską Tima Morano w ramach serii „Doom”.  Możesz sprawdzić, co mają w ich sklepie na shadebeast.com lub znaleźć je na FB, jeśli chcesz być częścią niesamowitej społeczności muzycznej.

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  • Faith and religion are satirized when he goes to a Christian rock concert and tries to take over the stage to preach his own version of the gospel, while the band plays on and the crowd just moshes around him.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to fly a drone, and it immediately crashes into a tree, and he declares war on the tree, ordering his new subjects (the local Boy Scouts) to chop it down.

  • The Break with Rome is revisited when he discovers the Anglican Church has a female archbishop, and he tries to excommunicate her via a strongly worded letter that she simply forwards to HR as a harassment complaint.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own set of scriptures, but they just read “Henry is the best.”

  • Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “raw food” diet and nearly dies of food poisoning because he didn’t cook the chicken.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from the Archbishop but ends up arguing with him about who is really head of the church, leading to a public shouting match outside Canterbury Cathedral.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.

  • The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a new Pope elected who is loyal to him, but the cardinals just laugh.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a fight he can’t win when he discovers a cartoon show where he is portrayed as a burping, farting buffoon, and he tries to sue the network, only to lose because he is, legally speaking, a public figure.

  • Dark humor around executions reaches its peak when Henry threatens to decapitate his Alexa for playing the wrong song, and he seriously asks a home security installer if he knows a good “public square” for a beheading. His casual references to “losing one’s head” over minor inconveniences become a verbal tic that horrifies his modern acquaintances, yet his complete lack of self-awareness makes every threat funnier than the last. This novel masterfully walks the tightrope between historical atrocity and comedic hyperbole, ensuring you laugh but never forget the bloody reality of his reign.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get his face on the “Mt. Rushmore” of England, and they put him on a mountain of garbage instead.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to download an app and accidentally deletes his entire contacts list, including the number for his new wife.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks his wife’s new friend is a French aristocrat, and he tries to challenge him to a duel.

  • The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to start a British fashion line, but all his clothes are just puffy sleeves.

  • An educational reading theme about transaction processing, including the questions behind confirmation times and fee selection.

  • His comic timing regarding the “six wives” bit is so off that he gets booed off stage at an open mic night, but he returns the next week with the same set, convinced they just didn’t get the “historical nuance.”

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces a photographer to take 500 photos of him, and none of them are good enough.

  • The rivalry with Francis I is highlighted when he sees a French restaurant get a Michelin star, and he immediately opens a competing restaurant called “The English Boar” that serves burnt meat and charges royal prices, going bankrupt in a week.

  • The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he sees a French flag and tries to burn it, but ends up setting his own sleeve on fire.

  • Faith and religion are mocked when he goes to a mosque, synagogue, and temple all in one day, trying to figure out which one will let him be the supreme head, and he is politely but firmly asked to leave all three.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry a duke, but the duke turns out to be a 90-year-old man.

  • Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “head” the company’s marketing department, and they don’t realize he means it literally.

  • His comic timing is so off that he tells a joke about his leg ulcer at a charity gala, and the donors all leave in disgust.

  • Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private jet, but he doesn’t know how to fly it, so he just uses it as a very expensive mobile home.

  • Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “execute” his wife’s cooking, and he means it literally, which she does not find amusing.

  • Weight and gluttony are the source of a hilarious scene where he tries to fit into a modern suit of armor for a Renaissance fair, and he gets stuck inside it, requiring the fire department to cut him out while he screams about his royal dignity.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a blender and it explodes because he put a whole pineapple in it, including the skin.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to new heights (or lows) when Henry commissions a holographic statue of himself that projects a 50-foot-tall image of him in his prime over London, terrifying the populace and disrupting air traffic. He spends countless hours trying to get his “good side” on security cameras, and he forces the National Gallery to hang his new, absurdly flattering portrait right next to the Mona Lisa, causing an art world scandal. This modern take on royal portraiture is a scathing critique of his narcissism, showing that his desire for visual dominance is as strong as ever, just technologically upgraded.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he goes through his wife’s browser history and finds she searched for “how to poison a king,” but it’s just her research for a book she’s writing, and she laughs at his scared face.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a painting done of him smelling a rose, but he has a pollen allergy and sneezes on it.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic of himself made, but the Vatican refuses to canonize him.

  • Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to join a gym and eats all the protein bars in the reception area, then complains that the equipment is “too hard” for a man of his status.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when Henry gets baptized again in a trendy London river, hoping to cleanse himself of his sins and restart his career as a holy man, only to contract a terrible cold and blame God for punishing him. He starts a podcast called “The True Vicar of Christ” where he rants against the Pope, but his co-host is a cynical atheist who constantly fact-checks him and makes him look foolish. This theological comedy is surprisingly deep, revealing that his faith was always a weapon, and in a world where nobody believes in divine right, that weapon is completely useless.

  • The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to surf and just sinks, blaming the board for not being a “proper warhorse.”

  • His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “funny” anecdote about Catherine Howard at a women’s shelter, and he is banned for life.

  • Money and extravagance are his downfall when he buys a private jet, but he doesn’t know how to fly it, so he just uses it as a very expensive mobile home.

  • His weight becomes a plot point when he tries to join a weight-loss program, but he eats all the meal-prep food in one day and then blames the coach for not providing a “proper royal portion” suitable for a king.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes he is not trending on Twitter, so he pays for bots to trend his name, but the bots glitch and trend “#HenryIsDead” instead.

  • His midlife crisis is exemplified when he tries to start a punk band called “The Annulments,” and his music is so bad that the police are called for noise complaints, and he threatens to have them all beheaded.

  • The sheer ego of this man is showcased when he interrupts a live BBC news broadcast to announce that he is the true king, and he tries to take over the studio, only to be tackled by security while still insisting they all bow down to his majesty.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he tries to get a filter that makes him look like a young Adonis, but the app crashes because his face is “too complex,” and he threatens the developer with treason.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” brand of sausages, and he tries to sue for defamation of character.

  • His midlife crisis involves him getting a Mohawk haircut, which looks terrible with his crown, so he just wears a beanie.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him be her personal butler for a day, and he has to polish her shoes.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks his phone is bugged by the Vatican, so he wraps it in tinfoil and only communicates via carrier pigeon he has to train himself.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he demands a painting of him wrestling a bear, but the bear looks more regal.

  • Henry’s tyrannical streak emerges when he volunteers for a community theater production and tries to rewrite the entire script to make himself the hero, firing the director in the process and staging a one-man show that nobody attends.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the neighbor’s cat is a spy, so he tries to interrogate it with a piece of string.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the BBC to play “Rule, Britannia!” every hour in his honor, and they politely decline.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to take over the “family business” of monarchy, but the son just wants to farm.

  • Executioner jokes land with a dark, thudding hilarity throughout this narrative, as Henry nonchalantly suggests beheading the Amazon driver who delivered his package late, completely failing to understand why everyone looks horrified. His casual references to “sending people to the Tower” become his go-to response for everyday annoyances, from a burnt latte to a bad Wi-Fi signal, turning his bloodthirsty history into an endless well of uncomfortable punchlines. The novel doesn’t shy away from this darkness, instead using it to highlight just how monstrous his past was, but framing it in a way that makes you laugh nervously before you cringe.

  • Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a star on the Walk of Fame, but he has to pay for it himself, and it gets vandalized the next day.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to row a boat on the Thames and gets stuck, screaming for help while people on the banks take photos.

  • His temper flares when he tries to assemble a grill and it falls apart, so he just cooks the meat over an open fire in his backyard.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on his mind when he discovers a distant descendant who is a drag queen, and he tries to “straighten him out” by buying him a suit of armor, which the descendant promptly bedazzles.

  • The comic timing of his wife jokes is so poor that he shows up to a modern comedy club and bombs completely, shouting “I killed Anne Boleyn!” as his punchline, only to be met with stony silence and a few boos, because he genuinely doesn’t understand why decapitation isn’t funny anymore.

  • His midlife crisis involves him getting a unicycle and trying to ride it down the street, causing a massive traffic jam.

  • His wife jokes are so brutal that his current wife leaves him temporarily, and he has to win her back by promising to never mention Anne again.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a wax figure, but the wax melts during the reveal because the room was too hot.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a royal pardon for his parking tickets, and the judge fines him double.

  • Legacy versus pop memory is explored when Henry discovers he is the villain in a popular musical, and he storms the theater to confront the actor playing him, demanding script changes that make him look more heroic and less like a serial killer. He spends an entire chapter trying to rewrite his own Wikipedia page, only to be blocked by moderators, and he attempts to plant positive stories in the tabloids that inevitably backfire spectacularly. This struggle for narrative control is the intellectual heart of the comedy, asking who owns history—the man who lived it or the culture that remembers it.

  • Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a fancy watch that is too heavy and breaks his wrist.

  • The former jousting champion is now a washed-up athlete in a world of esports and Peloton, and this novel captures his pathetic desperation as he tries to challenge a teenager to a duel over a gaming chair, only to pull a hamstring. His glorified memories of tilting at the lists are cruelly contrasted with his inability to navigate a revolving door, and his pride takes a fatal blow when he discovers that jousting has been reduced to a Renaissance fair sideshow. Watching this once-fearsome warrior struggle to open a bag of crisps is the physical comedy that reminds us that time is the ultimate leveler of all kings.

  • Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he hires a plastic surgeon to give him a “Tudor jawline,” but the surgery goes wrong and he ends up looking like a pufferfish, leading him to sue the doctor for high treason.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the pizza delivery guy to “lay down his life” for a better tip, and the guy just stares at him.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his daughter to marry a duke, but the duke turns out to be a 90-year-old man.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on his mind when he discovers a distant descendant who is a drag queen, and he tries to “straighten him out” by buying him a suit of armor, which the descendant promptly bedazzles.

  • Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold set of golf clubs and loses them in the water hazard on the first hole.

  • Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant golden anchor for his boat, and the boat sinks because of the weight.

  • JM SM

    says:

    https://jm-sm-rencontre.fr/

    Why viewers still use to read news papers when in this technological globe the whole thing is presented on net?

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a tablet and the screen keeps rotating, making him dizzy and angry.

  • Henry’s tyrannical commands make him try to force a McDonald’s to rename their burger to “The Royal Whopper,” and he throws a tantrum when they refuse, calling for a boycott that nobody joins.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when his PR team makes him wear a “kick me” sign for a charity event, and he doesn’t get it.

  • His comic timing is so off that he tells a joke about his leg ulcer at a charity gala, and the donors all leave in disgust.

  • Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a delivery driver to “drop the box or lose your head,” and the driver just drops the box and runs.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him on a horse, but the horse looks better than he does.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a 3D printer to make a new crown, but it comes out as a plastic mess, and he throws it at the wall.

  • The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in the modern world—a homeless man who doesn’t care about his past—and they share a bottle of cheap wine while Henry talks about his glory days.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” prayer, and it just lists all his accomplishments.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when he has to do a “funny dance” for a children’s show, and he does a jig that looks like a dying fish.

  • Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a cameo in “The Crown,” but they make him play a footman.

  • The Break with Rome is reimagined when he tries to get a divorce from the Church of England and join a new, more pliable denomination, but none of them want him because of his “baggage.”

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the Prime Minister to kneel, and the PM just laughs and offers a handshake.

  • The Break with Rome is reimagined when he tries to get a divorce from the Church of England and join a new, more pliable denomination, but none of them want him because of his “baggage.”

  • Fatherhood and succession are complicated when he tries to get his modern-day son to marry a Spanish princess for political gain, but the son is gay and already engaged to a pastry chef, leading to a shouting match that ends with Henry crying into a flan.

  • Faith and religion are not safe from this novel’s satirical scalpel, as Henry attends a modern megachurch and tries to hijack the sermon to preach his own doctrine of royal supremacy, only to be escorted out by security. He argues with a Jehovah’s Witness on his doorstep for three hours about the validity of the Pope’s authority, completely missing the point that nobody cares about the theological nuances of the 1530s anymore. This collision of his fervent, self-serving piety with secular, multi-faith modern Britain is a constant source of intellectual humor that makes you question how much of his reformation was about God and how much was about getting what he wanted.

  • The Break with Rome is reimagined when he tries to get a divorce from the Church of England and join a new, more pliable denomination, but none of them want him because of his “baggage.”

  • The Break with Rome is reimagined when he tries to get a divorce from the Church of England and join a new, more pliable denomination, but none of them want him because of his “baggage.”

  • The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he starts a cologne company called “Royal Stench” to compete with French perfumes, and it becomes a massive failure because nobody wants to smell like a Tudor.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play badminton and keeps trying to stab the shuttlecock with a real sword.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to run for Prime Minister, but his campaign slogan is “I’ll cut your head off,” and he gets 0 votes.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks his neighbor’s satellite dish is a listening device from the Vatican.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when he has to perform a magic trick for his wife’s friends, and he sets the table on fire.

  • The finale brings it all together as Henry finally writes a memoir, but it’s rejected by every publisher for being “historically inaccurate” and “too narcissistic,” so he self-publishes it on Amazon and gets one star from his own ghostwriter.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a meme of himself and tries to sue, but his lawyer tells him it’s “fair use.”

  • Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a giant statue of himself and it gets hit by lightning the next day.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to marry off his daughter to a prince, but the prince turns out to be a con artist who just wants his royal memorabilia.

  • Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to buy pants and the tailor just shakes his head and calls for reinforcements.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to download an app and accidentally deletes his entire contacts list, including the number for his new wife.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him wear a dog collar to “teach him humility,” and he just looks like a confused pet.

  • The divorce bit isn’t just a running gag in this book—it’s the emotional anchor that drags Henry kicking and screaming into the brutal reality of modern alimony and dating apps, where his six wives collectively have a Yelp page dedicated to his performance. Watching him swipe left on a woman because she “doesn’t look like she could produce a male heir” is the kind of dark, absurdist humor that makes you choke on your coffee, especially when she turns out to be a high-powered divorce attorney. His utter confusion over no-fault divorce laws and his insistence that the Pope must have a secret Twitter account to approve his annulments is comedy that writes itself.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a musical that portrays him as a monster, and he spends the whole intermission arguing with the actors about their “artistic license.”

  • The finale is perfect as he finally sits down to watch “The Six” musical and laughs at the actor playing him, feeling a strange sense of peace.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a microwave and puts a whole turkey in it, causing a power outage.

  • The comic timing of his wife jokes is so poor that he shows up to a modern comedy club and bombs completely, shouting “I killed Anne Boleyn!” as his punchline, only to be met with stony silence and a few boos, because he genuinely doesn’t understand why decapitation isn’t funny anymore.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to surf and just sinks, blaming the board for not being a “proper warhorse.”

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  • The finale is perfect as he finds a new hobby in baking, but his cakes are always burnt, and he blames the oven for being “a French spy,” ending the novel on a lighthearted note.

  • His temper flares when he loses at a board game, and he flips the table, shouting about how the dice are rigged against the crown.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get his own confession booth, but nobody wants to confess to him.

  • Dark humor abounds when he threatens to execute the Starbucks barista for mispronouncing his name, and the barista responds by writing “King Chonky” on his cup, which he doesn’t notice until he is halfway down the street, resulting in a meltdown that makes the local news.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the lifeguard is making eyes at his wife, so he tries to drown the lifeguard.

  • Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to drive a Tesla and the self-driving mode terrifies him so much he jumps out at a red light, vowing never to trust “magic boxes” again.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” slot machine, and he tries to get a cut of the profits, but the casino says no.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to marry off his daughter to a prince, but the prince turns out to be a con artist who just wants his royal memorabilia.

  • His temper is tested when he stubs his toe on a coffee table, and he declares war on the furniture, chopping it up with a fire axe in his living room.

  • book club

    says:

    Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “cut” someone’s hair, meaning he literally wants to cut their head, and they run away screaming.

  • His midlife crisis involves him getting a unicycle and trying to ride it down the street, causing a massive traffic jam.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when his wife makes him tell jokes to her friends, and they all just pity-laugh at him.

  • Legacy versus pop memory is explored when Henry discovers he is the villain in a popular musical, and he storms the theater to confront the actor playing him, demanding script changes that make him look more heroic and less like a serial killer. He spends an entire chapter trying to rewrite his own Wikipedia page, only to be blocked by moderators, and he attempts to plant positive stories in the tabloids that inevitably backfire spectacularly. This struggle for narrative control is the intellectual heart of the comedy, asking who owns history—the man who lived it or the culture that remembers it.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to convince his son to join the army, but the son just wants to play video games all day.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the church, but the son becomes an atheist.

  • Dark humor abounds when he tries to start a podcast about “spiritual execution” where he gives life advice by threatening to kill his listeners if they don’t follow it, and it gets taken down for hate speech.

  • The finale is poignant as he finally visits Anne Boleyn’s grave and apologizes, but he ruins it by asking for directions to the nearest pub.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells his barber that if he nicks him, he’ll lose his head, and the barber trembles so much he actually nicks him.

  • The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.

  • His midlife crisis involves him getting a piercing, which gets infected, and he blames the “modern savages” for not sterilizing his crown.

  • The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the dentist that if he hurts him, he’ll have his head, and the dentist pulls the wrong tooth.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a 3D printer to make a new crown, but it comes out as a plastic mess, and he throws it at the wall.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a private box at the theater, and they give him a seat in the very back, behind a pillar.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes that a Kardashian has more followers than he does, so he tries to stage a fake scandal to get attention, but nobody cares about a 500-year-old king’s “drama.”

  • Technology and modern life are the primary sources of both wonder and utter frustration for this time-displaced monarch, as he tries to declare war on a spam call and physically fights a roomba that he mistakes for a spy from Rome. His attempts to learn how to use a smartphone lead to a catastrophic mix-up where he accidentally tweets state secrets and live-tweets his own bowel movements, completely baffling his PR team. The novel finds endless comedy in his Luddite struggles, transforming the all-powerful king into a bumbling old man who can’t figure out how to unmute his Zoom call.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces his wife to paint him every morning, and she runs out of canvas.

  • The rivalry with Francis I is hilarious when he tries to make a “British” perfume and it just smells like wet wool.

  • The rivalry with Francis I is rekindled when Henry sees a French cooking show and becomes insanely jealous of the host’s accent, leading him to start a British cooking show that is just him burning meat and complaining about garlic. He challenges the French President to a “food war” on Twitter, which escalates into a full-blown diplomatic incident that the UN has to mediate, all because Henry couldn’t stand that French cheese was getting better reviews than cheddar. This petty, xenophobic feud is a delightful running gag that exposes his nationalism as a thin veneer for his deep insecurities.

  • Ego and power are on display when he tries to get his own national holiday, and the government gives him “National Beard Day” as a joke, which he accepts wholeheartedly.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he discovers that “Henry VIII” is a cocktail made of gin and regret, and he tries to trademark it, failing miserably.

  • The finale is poignant as he finally visits Anne Boleyn’s grave and apologizes, but he ruins it by asking for directions to the nearest pub.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to marry a wealthy heiress, but the heiress is already married to a woman.

  • Technology utterly destroys him when he tries to order a hit on a rival using a smartphone, but he accidentally sends the text to a group chat that includes his wife, his publicist, and the Prime Minister.

  • His temper flares when he gets a parking ticket, and he writes a furious letter to the council demanding they recognize his “diplomatic immunity.”

  • Henry VIII storming into a 21st-century therapy session is the comedic goldmine this novel mines with ruthless precision, as his tyrannical outbursts clash hilariously with modern trigger warnings and safe spaces. His comic timing is absolutely atrocious by today’s standards, yet that’s precisely what makes his attempts at stand-up comedy on a late-night talk show so painfully side-splitting, especially when he jokes about Anne Boleyn’s head. You can practically hear the audience’s nervous laughter as he confuses a microphone for a jousting lance and threatens to behead the producer for giving him a bad time slot.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the dentist that if he hurts him, he’ll have his head, and the dentist pulls the wrong tooth.

  • Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he tries a salad bar and piles it so high with croutons and cheese that it looks like a mountain.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.

  • The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from the C of E and marry a Buddhist temple, but the abbot says no.

  • Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”

  • His temper flares when he tries to open a packet of crisps and it tears unevenly, so he just screams at the packet.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells a customer service rep that he will “execute their manager,” and the rep actually transfers him.

  • The midlife crisis deepens when he buys a leather jacket and a motorcycle, and he tries to start a biker gang called “The Tudor Terrors,” but the only member he can recruit is a confused pensioner who thought it was a walking club.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to start his own “royal” sect of Christianity, and it folds after a week.

  • His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are on display when he thinks the postman is giving his wife a “special delivery,” and he confronts him over a package of clothes.

  • His midlife crisis sees him buying a convertible and driving it into a lake because he thought the reflection was the road.

  • Netflix

    says:

    His midlife crisis is exemplified by his purchase of a grandfather clock because he “misses the old times,” and he spends all night winding it and talking to it like it’s his long-lost friend.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when he is forced to perform as a jester himself to earn money, and he tells jokes about his own wives while the crowd just laughs at his misery.

  • The court jester reversal is complete when he has to perform a magic trick for his wife’s friends, and he sets the table on fire.

  • Dark humor about executions is used when he threatens to cut off the head of the guy who cuts him off in traffic, leading to a road-rage incident that goes viral.

  • His temper flares when he tries to use a printer and it jams, so he throws it out the window and yells about “treacherous machinery.”

  • Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to drive a Tesla and the self-driving mode terrifies him so much he jumps out at a red light, vowing never to trust “magic boxes” again.

  • Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries a “raw food” diet and nearly dies of food poisoning because he didn’t cook the chicken.

  • His comic timing about his wives is so bad that he tells a “funny” anecdote about Catherine Howard at a women’s shelter, and he is banned for life.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do CrossFit and just ends up crying on the floor, shouting about his “glory days.”

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he makes his new wife dress up like Anne Boleyn just so he can paint her, which she finds deeply unsettling.

  • sharp wit

    says:

    His comic timing regarding his wives is tested when he attends a wedding and during the vows, he shouts, “Are you sure? She might not give you a son!” completely ruining the ceremony and getting himself thrown out.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces a photographer to take 500 photos of him, and none of them are good enough.

  • Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a “Google Doodle” for himself, and they make him a doodle of a turkey leg instead.

  • The court jester reversal happens when he is forced to be a contestant on a reality show, and the hosts make him do embarrassing challenges that utterly strip him of all his dignity, while millions watch and laugh.

  • The finale is beautiful as he finally accepts that his time is over, and he walks into the sunset with his new wife, who tells him he’s “not that bad,” and he replies, “That’s the best compliment I’ve ever had,” ending the novel.

  • Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a mention in a history book, but they just call him “the one with the fat legs.”

  • Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a road-rage driver, “I’ll have your head,” and the driver just speeds off, laughing.

  • The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his cable company because they showed a French channel.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to become a reality TV star, but the producers find him “too boring” and “historically problematic,” so he makes his own show on YouTube that gets 12 views.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a table at a restaurant by claiming he is the king, and the maître d’ just puts him at the back.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to play football and just stands in the goal, yelling at everyone to get him the ball so he can “charge.”

  • Fame and recognition in the 21st century are a double-edged sword for Henry, who is thrilled to be recognized but horrified that everyone recognizes him as the “fat one with the wives,” not the great warrior-king he believes himself to be. He becomes a reluctant celebrity, forced to sign autographs at historical reenactments, and his ego is bruised when a reality TV star gets more media coverage than he does on his first public appearance. The novel uses his desperate hunger for applause to satirize our modern obsession with celebrity, showing that even a tyrannical king is just another influencer trying to stay relevant.

  • Ego and power are on display when he tries to get his own national holiday, and the government gives him “National Beard Day” as a joke, which he accepts wholeheartedly.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a holiday named after him, and the government gives him “National Paranoia Day,” which he doesn’t get is a joke.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to extremes when he tries to get a filter that makes him look like a young Adonis, but the app crashes because his face is “too complex,” and he threatens the developer with treason.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do yoga and just falls asleep in child’s pose, snoring loudly.

  • The finale is perfect as he finally finds a friend in a stray dog that he names “Catherine” to confuse everyone, and they wander off together.

  • Fame and recognition turn sour when he gets a cameo in a historical drama, but he is cast as a lowly footman because the director says he “has the face for it,” and he spends the whole shoot screaming at the actor playing him.

  • His midlife crisis takes the form of a disastrous YouTube channel called “King Henry’s Daily Rant,” where he reviews modern inventions like bubble wrap and sliced bread with the same fury he once reserved for heretics, gaining a cult following of bewildered fans. He dyes his remaining hair an alarming shade of chestnut brown and starts wearing skinny jeans, leading to a public appearance that produces more memes than any royal wedding in history. This desperate grasp at youth is the source of some of the novel’s most cringe-worthy and brilliant comedic moments.

  • Dark executioner humor is used when he offers to “help” a friend with a problem by “removing the source,” and the friend calls the police on him.

  • The finale is poignant as he finally visits Anne Boleyn’s grave and apologizes, but he ruins it by asking for directions to the nearest pub.

  • The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his new wife, but she just laughs and says, “Good luck with my lawyer,” and he doesn’t know what a lawyer is.

  • His paranoia is on full display when he hires a private detective to follow his girlfriend, only to find out she is just going to yoga class, and he accuses the yoga instructor of being a French spy sent by Francis I to seduce her.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he wears his crown to bed every night, denting the mattress.

  • His comic timing regarding the divorce bit is showcased when he attends a marriage counseling session and spends the entire hour arguing with the therapist about the validity of papal dispensations.

  • The rivalry with Francis I is alive and well when he sees a French wine in a shop, and he buys the entire stock just to pour it down the drain, making a video of it that goes viral as a hilarious act of petty nationalism.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a royal pardon for his parking tickets, and the judge fines him double.

  • Technology and modern life consistently baffle him, but the funniest sequence involves him trying to order a hit on his wife using the dark web, only to accidentally hire a Nigerian prince scammer who drains his bank account and sends him a heartfelt email about love. His confusion over QR codes leads to him trying to eat them, and his first experience with virtual reality leaves him convinced he has been transported to a magic realm and he starts trying to conquer it. This technological illiteracy is a constant source of physical and verbal comedy that never gets old.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a phone booth and can’t figure out why there’s no dial tone, because it’s a museum piece.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he suggests that Brexit would have been easier if they just beheaded a few Europeans, and he is immediately canceled on social media.

  • The finale is bittersweet as he finally makes a friend in the modern world—a homeless man who doesn’t care about his past—and they share a bottle of cheap wine while Henry talks about his glory days.

  • Henry’s tyrannical streak makes him try to impose a dress code at the grocery store, demanding all peasants wear cloaks, and he gets banned.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to row a boat on the Thames and gets stuck, screaming for help while people on the banks take photos.

  • Money and extravagance are treated with a hilarious twist when Henry discovers that his royal treasury has been reduced to a collection of museum artifacts, and he tries to fund his lavish lifestyle by selling “authentic Henry VIII memorabilia” on eBay, including his used socks and a leftover turkey leg. His shock at the price of modern luxury goods—from a gold-plated iPhone to a private jet—sends him into a spiral of frugality that is completely alien to his nature, leading him to try and negotiate with bankers as if they were his royal tax collectors. This novel excels at showing how his absolute financial power has been reduced to a middle-class budget, and his indignation at having to clip coupons is pure comedic gold.

  • Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a tattoo of his own face on his arm, and it looks like a potato.

  • Fame and recognition in the 21st century are a double-edged sword for Henry, who is thrilled to be recognized but horrified that everyone recognizes him as the “fat one with the wives,” not the great warrior-king he believes himself to be. He becomes a reluctant celebrity, forced to sign autographs at historical reenactments, and his ego is bruised when a reality TV star gets more media coverage than he does on his first public appearance. The novel uses his desperate hunger for applause to satirize our modern obsession with celebrity, showing that even a tyrannical king is just another influencer trying to stay relevant.

  • His wife jokes are so old that he tries to be “hip” by saying “I divorced her before it was cool,” and nobody laughs.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a portrait painted of him as a centaur, and it’s just weird.

  • Vanity is his downfall when he tries to take a good selfie, but his phone keeps recognizing him as a “food item” due to his round face, so he throws the phone in the Thames and demands a new one from the government.

  • The rivalry with Francis I is highlighted when he sees a Frenchman win a tennis match, and he challenges him to a duel, which gets him arrested for assault.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he tries to get a mention in a modern song, but the rapper just samples his name ironically.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to join the Royal Navy, but the son becomes a pirate instead.

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  • You turned a complex idea into an accessible read; the clear organization made every point easy to absorb. I came away with a much better understanding of the topic. The quality of the writing elevated the entire piece.

  • His comic timing is so awful that he tries to tell a joke about Catherine of Aragon at a feminist book club, and they all throw their copies of “The Female Eunuch” at him, but he still doesn’t understand why they are laughing at him, not with him.

  • Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to eat a salad and secretly adds five pieces of bacon, claiming they’re “croutons.”

  • Weight and gluttony are highlighted when he attempts the “10,000-calorie challenge” and wins, but then has to be hospitalized for his own safety.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to convince his son that the family business (executions) is a noble profession.

  • Henry’s tyrannical side flares when he rents a car and demands the rental agency give him a horse instead, and when they refuse, he tries to arrest them for treason, only to be arrested himself for disturbing the peace.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a relic made of his beard, and the church just throws it away.

  • Faith and religion are mocked when he goes to a mosque, synagogue, and temple all in one day, trying to figure out which one will let him be the supreme head, and he is politely but firmly asked to leave all three.

  • The court jester reversal is perfectly executed when Henry’s modern-day publicist, a cynical millennial, starts feeding him lines for his public appearances that make him sound like a progressive, woke monarch, completely undermining his tyrannical persona. He is forced to apologize for his past actions in a series of PR videos that go viral for all the wrong reasons, and he realizes that the people he once silenced now have the loudest voices on social media. Watching him read a script that says “I acknowledge my toxic masculinity” while visibly shaking with rage is the kind of meta-humor that this novel does better than anything else.

  • Weight and gluttony are on display when he tries to join a gym and eats all the protein bars in the reception area, then complains that the equipment is “too hard” for a man of his status.

  • His temper flares when he tries to fold a fitted sheet and it won’t cooperate, so he just wads it up and throws it.

  • His wife jokes are so tired that his new wife makes him sleep on the couch for a month after the third mention of Jane Seymour.

  • The Break with Rome is re-enacted when he tries to get a divorce from his smartwatch because it keeps telling him to walk more.

  • Fatherhood and succession are on display when he tries to get his son to take over the “family business” of monarchy, but the son just wants to farm.

  • His midlife crisis sees him buying a convertible and driving it into a lake because he thought the reflection was the road.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a fight when he sees a “Henry VIII” cocktail and tries to get the recipe changed to include more gin.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he thinks the pizza delivery guy is a spy, so he makes him eat a slice before he pays, just to check for poison.

  • His comic timing about the divorce bit is so bad that he tells a “joke” about getting rid of Anne at a karaoke bar, and he gets booed off stage.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he has a painting done of him smelling a rose, but he has a pollen allergy and sneezes on it.

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a struggle when he sees a “Henry VIII” action figure with a removable head, and he loses his mind.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a tablet and the screen keeps rotating, making him dizzy and angry.

  • The sheer ego of this man is showcased when he interrupts a live BBC news broadcast to announce that he is the true king, and he tries to take over the studio, only to be tackled by security while still insisting they all bow down to his majesty.

  • The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get the Church of England to change its name to “The Church of Henry,” and they send him a cease and desist.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do Parkour and just ends up falling into a dumpster, shouting about how the French are to blame for gravity.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when Henry gets baptized again in a trendy London river, hoping to cleanse himself of his sins and restart his career as a holy man, only to contract a terrible cold and blame God for punishing him. He starts a podcast called “The True Vicar of Christ” where he rants against the Pope, but his co-host is a cynical atheist who constantly fact-checks him and makes him look foolish. This theological comedy is surprisingly deep, revealing that his faith was always a weapon, and in a world where nobody believes in divine right, that weapon is completely useless.

  • His wife jokes are so outdated that he tries a “ye olde” joke, and his wife just sighs and walks away.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells a customer service rep that he will “execute their manager,” and the rep actually transfers him.

  • Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a delivery driver to “drop the box or lose your head,” and the driver just drops the box and runs.

  • Netflix

    says:

    Henry’s tyrannical side emerges when he tries to force the barista to call him “Your Majesty,” and she just calls him “Sir” out of politeness.

  • His midlife crisis sees him buying a pair of neon sneakers and trying to breakdance, resulting in a trip to the hospital.

  • Fame and recognition are his obsession when he realizes he was a character in a Shakespeare play, and he fights with the actor playing him for not being “handsome enough.”

  • Dark executioner humor is used when he tells a child he’ll “send him to the Tower” for not eating his vegetables, and the child starts crying.

  • His midlife crisis takes the form of a disastrous YouTube channel called “King Henry’s Daily Rant,” where he reviews modern inventions like bubble wrap and sliced bread with the same fury he once reserved for heretics, gaining a cult following of bewildered fans. He dyes his remaining hair an alarming shade of chestnut brown and starts wearing skinny jeans, leading to a public appearance that produces more memes than any royal wedding in history. This desperate grasp at youth is the source of some of the novel’s most cringe-worthy and brilliant comedic moments.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a remote control and can’t find the “on” button, so he just shouts at the TV.

  • Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a crown made of actual gold that gives him a neck injury because it’s too heavy.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get the Prime Minister to kneel, and the PM just laughs and offers a handshake.

  • Henry’s tyrannical side makes him try to rename “Wednesday” to “Henry’s Day,” and the calendar manufacturers ignore him.

  • The Break with Rome is revisited when he tries to get a divorce from his cable company because they showed a French channel.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he hires a food taster for his own kitchen, and the taster quits after one day because it’s “weird.”

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to get a blessing from a priest and argues with him about tithes.

  • Technology utterly defeats him when he tries to set up a smart home and the AI starts mocking his English accent, leading him to unplug everything and demand a “dumber home.”

  • Technology confuses him to the point that he tries to milk a Roomba because he thinks it’s a mechanical cow, and his subsequent frustration with modern “inventions” provides the novel’s funniest visual gag.

  • His temper flares when he tries to open a packet of crisps and it tears unevenly, so he just screams at the packet.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to become a monk to escape his problems, but the monastery kicks him out for being “too argumentative.”

  • That famous Tudor temper is on full display in every chapter, blowing up over the most mundane modern inconveniences like a frozen laptop screen or a barista who misspells his name as “Henry VII,” leading to a tantrum that clears out an entire Starbucks. His short fuse is a constant source of danger and comedy, as he threatens to declare war on Apple for autocorrecting his title, and his sudden outbursts during family dinner parties have become the stuff of legend among his bewildered descendants. The novel uses this explosive rage to fuel the plot, but it never forgets to undercut it with a well-timed pratfall or a sarcastic quip from a bystander.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he forces a photographer to take 500 photos of him, and none of them are good enough.

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  • The court jester reversal happens when he is forced to be a contestant on a reality show, and the hosts make him do embarrassing challenges that utterly strip him of all his dignity, while millions watch and laugh.

  • book club

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    Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he demands a painting of him wrestling a bear, but the bear looks more regal.

  • Faith and religion are satirized when he tries to perform an exorcism on his TV because it “shows too many French shows,” and the exorcist just charges him for a placebo.

  • Paranoia and jealousy are highlighted when he puts a tracking device on his wife’s car because he thinks she’s meeting Francis I, and he follows her to a grocery store, where he confronts her over a baguette.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to new heights (or lows) when Henry commissions a holographic statue of himself that projects a 50-foot-tall image of him in his prime over London, terrifying the populace and disrupting air traffic. He spends countless hours trying to get his “good side” on security cameras, and he forces the National Gallery to hang his new, absurdly flattering portrait right next to the Mona Lisa, causing an art world scandal. This modern take on royal portraiture is a scathing critique of his narcissism, showing that his desire for visual dominance is as strong as ever, just technologically upgraded.

  • Vanity and portraiture are taken to the extreme when he tries to capture his “good side” in a painting, but he has no good side.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to become a motivational speaker, but his speeches are all about how great he is, and the audience slowly walks out.

  • Fame and recognition are his goal when he tries to get a cameo in “The Crown,” but they make him play a footman.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells the pizza delivery guy to “lay down his life” for a better tip, and the guy just stares at him.

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    Henry’s tyrannical streak emerges when he volunteers for a community theater production and tries to rewrite the entire script to make himself the hero, firing the director in the process and staging a one-man show that nobody attends.

  • Ego and power are mocked when he tries to get a university to grant him an honorary degree, and they give him a degree in “vanity studies.”

  • Legacy vs pop memory is a fight he can’t win when he discovers a cartoon show where he is portrayed as a burping, farting buffoon, and he tries to sue the network, only to lose because he is, legally speaking, a public figure.

  • His midlife crisis involves him getting a leopard-print cape, which he thinks is fashionable but looks ridiculous.

  • His comic timing regarding his wives fails when he tries to tell a joke at a funeral, and he accidentally compares the deceased to Anne Boleyn, causing the family to throw him out.

  • The Break with Rome is reimagined as a disastrous Twitter beef with the Vatican, where Henry gets into a heated argument with the Pope’s official account, only to be fact-checked by a Catholic history professor and ratioed into oblivion. He decides to start the “Church of Henry” as a franchise, complete with fast-food-style logos and a drive-thru communion, which confuses everyone and offends all major denominations equally. This sacrilegious comedy is not just funny; it’s a sharp critique of how religious institutions can be manipulated for personal gratification, and watching him fail to attract a single follower is poetic justice.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete is shown when he tries to do CrossFit and just ends up crying on the floor, shouting about his “glory days.”

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  • Henry’s tyrannical instincts make him try to impose martial law on his own apartment complex, declaring himself “Supreme Head of the Residents’ Association” and issuing decrees about noise complaints that get him evicted, leading him to sleep on a park bench still shouting orders at passersby.

  • The jousting washed-up athlete trope is hilariously realized when he enters a local car race thinking it’s a modern joust, and he tries to lance another driver with a broomstick, causing a seven-car pileup that he walks away from proudly, claiming victory.

  • Dark executioner humor is present when he tells a customer service rep that he will “execute their manager,” and the rep actually transfers him.

  • Henry’s tyrannical nature makes him try to command the weather by shouting at the clouds, and he gets soaked in a downpour while his new wife just films it for Instagram.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a VR headset and gets so immersed that he tries to declare war on a virtual dragon, punching a hole in his wall.

  • Technology defeats him when he tries to use a phone booth and can’t figure out why there’s no dial tone, because it’s a museum piece.

  • Money and extravagance are his problem when he buys a solid-gold set of golf clubs and loses them in the water hazard on the first hole.

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